Posts Tagged ‘divorce and children’

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CHILD CUSTODY AND SCHOOLS

Wednesday, December 26th, 2012

 

CHILD CUSTODY AND
SCHOOLS

 

CHILD CUSTODY AND
YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AS A DIVORCED PARENT

 

DIVORCE IS HARD ON CHILDREN

Divorce is hard on children.  You will want to do all you can to help them deal with it.  This includes choice of schools, doctors, sports, living conditions, social relationships and so on.  Your choice of schools for your children is especially important.  School teachers and administrators are, like it or not, a major force in your children’s life and development.  You know how time consuming and complicated and sometimes anxious your relationships with educators can be.

This is all multiplied if your child is special needs, handicapped or disabled.

THE DIVORCED PARENT AND THEIR CHILDREN’S SCHOOL

The point is that you have to establish healthy relationships with your children’s school, no matter what the  legal and physical custody arrangements are in your divorce and afterwards. You as a divorced parent are still a parent.  You are responsible for maintaining and developing a relationship with your children and those around them.  You can’t depend on the other parent to do this for you – after all, you did get divorced.  Disagreements and differences over the children’s caregivers – schools, sitters, doctors, therapists, support groups, hockey and other sports – are bound to occur.

These responsibilities on you as a parent of divorce can also be a source of joy for you and your child.

We know of one Minnesota elementary school where the staff helped the parents and the students form a “friend of…” student club for one special needs child of divorced parents.  The “Friends” helped the child keep on the right side of coolness, helped him pick up on social cues, helped him defend himself from bullies and so on.

JOINT CUSTODY AND SOLE CUSTODY

Your divorce decree may not establish joint legal custody (where parents have equal say in decisions about your children).  But except in very limited circumstances you still have a right to get school and medical information.  But it is YOUR responsibility to obtain this information.  You should not be asking the other parent to act as the intermediary between you and the school or the medical providers.

Thank you for your attention.

Moore Family Law, P.A.

www.moorefamilylawmn.com

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Posted in Blog, children and divorce, Handicapped Children MN, Responsibility and divorce, Schools and divorce, Special needs children MN | No Comments »

DIVORCE, PARENTING TIME, AND PROPOSED LAW IN MINNESOTA

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2012

DIVORCE AND PARENTING TIME IN MN

There’s a bill on MN  Governor Dayton’s desk that would create a presumption that all parents are entitled to at least 35% parenting time with their children.  NEW PARENTING TIME LAW

SCHEDULES AND THE CHILDREN OF DIVORCED PARENTS

While I agree that all children deserve to see both parents at often as possible, parents’ work schedules and children’s school and activity  schedules often make it difficult to carve out such a specific percentage in such a way that does not affect the best interests of the children.  I am concerned that custody cases will become more difficult for parents and children under this bill, as lawyers and judges look for ways to reach the 35% custodial presumption.

HIGH CONFLICT DIVORCES MAKE 50 /50 PHYSICAL CUSTODY MORE PROBLEMATIC

Difficult cases may be made harder, as parents will look to reasons to defeat the presumption such as claiming that the other parent is unfit instead of looking at the best interests of their children  in an effort to short circuit the calendar battle.   While similar arguments were made when the law that provided that each parent is presumed an entitlement to at least  25% custody, in my caseload at least, I have rarely had a case in which the parties could not agree upon at least 25% custody where there were no allegations of domestic abuse.   I have  had many cases where parties had a difficult time carving out agreements which give  parents between 30-45% custody.

50 / 50 CHILD CUSTODY USUALLY DOES NOT WORK

Perhaps my biggest concern is that this bill is actually an attempt to make it easier to provide a presumption in favor of 50/50 custody in future legislation.  In most of my cases, 50/50 parenting time is absolutely unworkable because of the distance between the parties’  homes, the parties’ work schedules, the lack of good communication between parents, and the needs of the children to maintain a consistent home during the school year.

When parties do agree on such a schedule, they usually agree to live in the same school district and have an extraordinarily cooperative co-parenting relationship.  The children are usually in at least second or third grade, or the  parents have been separated for a long time and using a 50/50 arrangement so long that they are used to it.

Jennifer Moore

www.moorefamilylawMN.com

 

 

 

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Divorce Attorneys in Special Needs Children Cases

Monday, October 31st, 2011

In divorce cases involving parents of children with special needs, great care must to taken to select an attorney or law firm with knowledge and experience in this unique area of family law.

Many divorce cases are relatively common. Divorce cases with special cases present extraordinary dynamics that must be thoughtfully addressed. Oftentimes divorce attorneys will be required to educate the court and provide information needed to ensure that the parenting plan he as detailed and comprehensive as is necessary to ensure the child’s best interests are met.

A knowledgeable attorney will want a professional diagnosis that is generally agreed upon by both parties. Ideally consensus should be reached on issues such as treatment, diet, medication, discipline, educational needs and school selection. An experienced lawyer will bring to light the risks and dangers a special needs child could encounter if both parents do not understand the ramifications and seriousness of the child’s situation.

If you are the parent of a special needs child and involved in a divorce, make certain you ask prospective attorneys about their familiarity and body of work in this unique and important field. Talk to parents of special needs children you know who have been through the divorce process. Listen to their experiences, ask them questions, and pay attention to their wisdom and learning’s. The focus you place on this aspect of your divorce could make substantial differences for you and your special needs child in the days ahead.

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Caring for a “Special Needs Child”

Thursday, October 20th, 2011

Individually, “Special,” “Needs” and “Child” are three easily defined words. Join them together in the term “Special Needs Child” and they suddenly defy a clear definition upon which everyone can agree.

The term “Special Needs Child” is a canopy covering a smorgasbord of diagnoses and situations. A child with special needs could be one with a simple learning disability or a severe mental retardation. It could designate a young person with anything from a food allergy to a terminal illness; a developmental delay that could correct itself or remain for a lifetime; occasional unwanted temper tantrums to deep seated mental health issues that could profoundly effect adult life. Generally speaking, the term designates children not fitting into the mainstream and requiring unique and out of the ordinary services, supervision, therapies, classes, foods, medications, etc.

Special Needs Children require the patience, understanding, sacrifice and time from those who care for them and love them most. This care can tax parents and families beyond their ability to cope and provide.

Meeting these special needs can be costly. Government programs, social security and insurance are available in some situations to assist with expenses. This requires significant documentation and much time.

If you are the parent of a child with any degree of special need make certain you have your child tested, evaluated and diagnosed.  Seek help from health care, educational and psychiatric professionals and follow their recommendations.  Keep detailed records of all reports, suggestions and expenses.

Most important of all, take care of your own health and emotional wellbeing, and encourage other family members and loved ones to do the same. Caring for special needs children requires maturity and the best of the human spirit. If your own life is not in order it will only exacerbate an already difficult situation, hindering you from giving your child the very best life they can experience.

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Child Custody and Special Needs Children

Saturday, October 15th, 2011

Child custody in divorce cases can be a difficult issue. Even in the best of circumstances it takes patience and energy to decide who will have custody and to what extent they will have that custody. In divorce cases involving special needs children the custody agreements are of even greater importance and require even more patience and understanding.

In custody cases impacting special needs children it is important that attorneys, parents and all other concerned parties clearly understand the child’s needs, condition and disabilities. Prior to discussion of possible custody arrangements all parties should speak with the child(ren) involved. Parents should be interviewed both individually and together. Doctors and health care professionals need to consulted, and specialized educators need to have input as well.

When making decisions about which parent would be best to maintain custody of a special needs child numerous factors must be weighed in order to arrive at the best possible arrangement for the child. It is important to consider the level of communication between the parents, availability of child care resources, medical resources, and the child’s ability or limitations in adjusting to changes in residence, school, community and religion.

In addition to all these factors, time must be a major consideration. Parenting a child with special needs is emotionally demanding and time consuming. Single parents and their legal representatives will need to weigh all of these issues before determining custody.

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Special Needs Children & Child Support: Part 2

Monday, October 10th, 2011

This is the second part of a three part blog discussing Child Support in divorce situations where Special Needs Children are involved. We are addressing three important questions that need to be considered when negotiating Child Support in such cases:

Can there legally be deviation from Child Support Guidelines in the case of Special Needs Children?

How should the additional costs of raising Special Needs Children be addressed within the Child Support Guidelines?

Are the guidelines and rules for the emancipation of Special Needs Child different from those for other children?

This blog briefly addresses question #2: How should the extra costs needed to raise a special needs child be incorporated into the child support guidelines?

When couples divorce one of the things each party tries to do is minimize their income, and maximize their expenses. Consequently, it is tremendously difficult to get the payor spouse to deviate from the child support guidelines. But when a special needs child has documented expenses that are predictable and recurring, then courts will require that these items be added to the child support award. When we speak of “predictable and recurring” expenses we means things like special diets and educational costs for special schools and classes. These expenses are a “predictable and recurring” part of the family’s lives. Most courts will approve these expenses and add them to the child support award.

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Special Needs Children Stress a Marriage – Minnetonka, MN

Monday, September 26th, 2011

The divorce rate in the United States is about 50%. As many couples have successful marriages as those who end up in divorce. This statistic alone attests to the difficulty of making a marriage work in this day and age. Even with all the factors working in your favor, marriage is still stressful and requires significant give and take by both parties even in the best of situations.

Take a marriage, that only has a 50% chance of succeeding in the first place – add a special needs child to the family, and suddenly the marriage has almost no chance of making it. Recent statistics report the failure rate of marriages with special needs children at anywhere from 60%-90%, depending on how one defines the term “Special Needs Child.” The greater the needs of the child, the smaller the chance of the marriage succeeding.

If a special needs child creates dynamics that powerful in marriage and family life, the dynamics involved in divorcing with a special needs child must be equally stressful and unique. In the event of divorce, it is imperative that care be taken in selecting an attorney who is familiar with these dynamics. The uniqueness of a special needs child in divorce must be clearly and intentionally addressed by an experienced professional. They will ask the significant questions and shape a settlement that clearly cares for a special needs child.

If you have a special needs child and are divorcing, call Moore Family Law! Their expertise and interest in special needs children is second to none.

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Divorce, Children, Passports, Abduction and Travel Abroad

Wednesday, June 8th, 2011

Divorce, Children, Passports, and Travel Overseas

In order to travel outside the United States with your child, you need a passport not only for yourself, but for your child.   If you are divorced and you have joint legal custody of your child, both parents must consent to the issuance of a passport.   This can be a problem if you do not have a good relationship with your ex, and you want to go on vacation with your child outside the United States.

 However, the parental consent requirements are designed to protect your child from parental kidnapping.  If you have reason to believe that your spouse is attempting to obtain a passport in your child’s name without your consent, you can enroll your child in the Children’s Passport Issuance Alert Program.  By enrolling in this program, you will be notified if someone attempts to obtain a passport in your child’s name.  For more information, see:  http://travel.state.gov/abduction/prevention/passportissuance/passportissuance_554.html.

Jennifer Moore

MooreFamilyLawMN.com

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SPECIAL NEEDS AND YOUR DIVORCE ATTORNEY

Wednesday, April 13th, 2011

SPECIAL NEEDS AND YOUR DIVORCE ATTORNEY

Your Money and Other Values

Your Divorce Lawyer

Divorce.  Handicaps. Special Needs Children.  Layoff and unemployment.  Mental afflictions of all kinds.  Any of these are hard enough to steer yourself through.  But lately I have seen families dealing with all of these, and more, all at once

 Special Needs Children

Good Morning America  http://abcnews.go.com/gma  recently featured an item about a young man named Rob Lettieri, who has Tourette’s Syndrome; a neurological condition which caused him to ‘tic’ in Robbie’s case, to thrash about uncontrollably.  http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/OnCall/video/tourettes-free-teen-dreamed-day-13273640

 My son has Tourette’s.  Many a time when he was a child I saw the physical pain this caused him.  He is now 25 and his symptoms are controlled by his own effort and by medications.  So I have a special interest in special needs individuals.  I also have a special interest in legal matters since I am the office manager of a small family law firm in Minnesota.

 Values Other Than Money

The question I’d like to ask is; if you are in or contemplating divorce and if you or your child were severely afflicted, what would your values be in the divorce?  Maximum revenue stream in the settlement?  The house?  The wedding ring?  Getting even?

 Wouldn’t your values and your actions be more likely to revolve around the needs of your child? And wouldn’t you want your divorce lawyer to understand this and work in this direction?  It’s bad enough under the best of circumstances to get a divorce.  I can’t imagine having to battle not only your spouse’s attorney but also your own lawyer over your strongly held values. 

 Your Money

Your divorce lawyer has to charge you so that you can get equity.  But here also you want to find a divorce attorney whose motivation is not, or not only, money.  Such attorneys can be found. Take the time to look and you will find what you need.  The Web is the best place to start.

 Hang in there.  You’ve gotten this far.  You can make these difficulties work for you and for your family.

 Tom Moore

Moore Family Law, P.A.

 

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Who Should Pay for the Lawyer in Family Law Child Protection Cases?

Friday, October 30th, 2009

By Jennifer Moore, Family Law Attorney

The Minnesota Supreme Court has agreed to hear a case that could have major implications for poor parents who are sued in child protection cases (See The Star Tribune). The question, interestingly enough, isn’t whether parents parents who can’t afford an attorney in a child protection case are entitled to representation. They are. Instead, the question is whether the Court has the authority to require a county to pay for a private attorney or whether representation must be by a public defender. Public defenders are paid for out of the judiciary budget. In the case to be decided by the state supreme court, a Rice County judge appointed a private attorney to represent the indigent parents in a child protection case, ordering the county to pay for it out of their budget.

Private Attorney v. Public Defender

I cannot say enough about the quality of public defenders we have here in Minnesota. However, it is likely that most people would choose a private attorney over a public defender. I did read an interesting article in The Concurring Opinion that theorized that the experience obtained by public defenders make them a better choice for most defendants than a private lawyer. Another problem is that the pay rate for private attorneys performing public defender services can be very low. In Wisconsin, for example, a private attorney who takes a public defender appointment will earn $40 an hour, when the average hourly pay for attorneys in Wisconsin is $188 an hour. (From All Business.) In fact, that $40 an hour is only $5 an hour higher than was paid for public defender appointments in 1978, when the public defender statute was passed.

Public Defender Overload

With the current economic situation, there is a serious problem with overload in the public defender’s office, especially in out-state Minnesota. (See The LaCrosse Tribune and The Star Tribune). Hiring private attorneys to help with the backlog in time-sensitive child protection cases must be a serious temptation to judges balancing their own overcrowded dockets against the welfare of abused and neglected children.

Of course, if the Courts expect private attorneys to accept appointments to represent indigent clients, there needs to be a mechanism to pay the attorney for their time. The attorney who was appointed in the Rice County case has not yet been paid.

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